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Marriage and Family

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“Therefore, behold, I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths.” Hosea 2:6

When I was growing up, we didn’t have those things…

I’m sure you’ve heard that line before. You may have even said those exact words. Well, it’s certainly true in regards to technology. My 7^th grade son, Ryan, jokes around about having an iPhone 0. When I was growing up, we didn’t have those things…In fact, I don’t recall ever thinking about having a personal phone. It wasn’t until I was in high school, when I started driving to Roseburg on my own, my parents bought me a flip phone.

Yes, today there are many things available to our kids that we didn’t have when we were their age. That being said, God is still God and people still lose sight of Him by walking away. Although the context of the verse above is about an unfaithful spouse and God is saying that he will place a hedge of thorns around her so that she doesn’t continue going in the wrong direction. I am thinking about our kids.

This morning, I prayed for my boys. I make it a practice to pray for my boys every morning. This morning I prayed that God would put a hedge of thorns around them. I prayed that God would give my boys what they need to follow Him all the days of their life.

Sometimes we need a hedge of thorns around us to keep us close to God!

My encouragement for us today: Pray for your kids! Pray for your spouse! Pray for yourself! And then, help your family make right actions for God today!

Have a Great Week!

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Jesus Talk

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“For the Son of Man has come to seek and save that which was lost.” Luke 19:10

I had the privilege over the weekend to help a youth group discover God’s mission for their lives. We looked at Jesus’ mission and Jesus’ commands to help us discover what the mission is supposed to be for the youth group.

There were three main themes that came out of our prayer and discussions together.

Love God

Love Others

Live for Jesus

The mission statement that the group came up with is, “We as a family at EVCC love Jesus while loving others by learning and living His word” (Luke 19:10, John 20:21, Romans 12:9-21).

Each Christian has a mission just as Jesus had a mission. To love God, love others, and live for Jesus; we must talk to others about Him. To be a Christian is to be a follower of Jesus Christ. One does not follow someone that they never talk about.

To Be ‘On Mission with Jesus’ is to talk to others about their need for the Savior!

My encouragement for us this week: Be ‘On Mission with Jesus’!

Have a great week!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, he who pastures his flock among the lilies.” Song of Songs 6:3

This week, I invited a special guest (my wife!) to share the woman’s side of a husband delighting in his wife…

Thanks for inviting me to share on this weeks blog, Randy! As the wife I’d like to share today about how we can help our husband keep his eyes and his delight for us. I hear you women asking “WAIT…I have responsibility in helping my husband keep his eyes and delight for me?” YOU BET YOU DO!!

1. As wives, we have the joy of being able to allow our husband’s to be filled with delight by our bodies. Many of you may know that men are visually stimulated and so we can help our husbands by allowing them to see us! Don’t hide yourself from your man!
2. As wives, we also have the joy of being able to physically satisfy our husbands. 1 Corinthians 7:5 instructs “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” It is our responsibility to accept our husband physically and to show our love to him physically. We want to make sure that Satan has NO opportunity to tempt!
3. As wives, we have the responsibility to show our husband that we appreciate him. YOU need to be his BIGGEST cheerleader. If we do not fulfill this role in his life unfortunately we leave the door open for another woman to move in and begin to distract his mind from us, opening a HUGE door for Satan to tempt.
4. Another thing that may rub some of you the wrong way…BUT, I see value in this. Have you ever thought about how you make yourself look before you go out the door to see the public vs. how you look when you see your husband? Do you ever think about freshening up before you see your husband? I do! And if you don’t, I’d encourage you to. My husband is important to me and I value what he thinks of me, I want to look good for him and I think he would feel good knowing that I took time to do something to look good for him. Does that mean every day I have to walk around cleaning the house like June Cleaver in my dress and pearls? NO! Sometimes it might mean I decide to get out of my PJ’s or that I took a shower and put on my mascara before he came home. Sometimes it might mean I put on fresh lipstick and his favorite perfume. The point is, I make effort for him not just for going out in public to see other people. How does this help our husbands delight in us? Well, it helps them know we are thinking about them and it encourages them to think about us and look forward to seeing us.

If any of these areas are a struggle for you, I urge you to pray and ask God for the Grace to love your husband in these ways and I can tell you from personal experience that God does respond and help you in these areas. BUT you need to be faithful in coming to him with those requests.

Have a Great Week loving your husbands!

-Rebecca Dewater

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Jesus Talk

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“In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes.” Judges 17:6

This morning, I’m going to cut to the chase. The body of Christ, the church, has a king; His name is Jesus! As much as I would like to do my own thing today, I am compelled to do what He wants me to do because He died on the cross to save me from my sins.

My encouragement for us this week: Submit yourself before Jesus and talk to others about Him before it’s too late.

Have a Great Week!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19

Sex is a hot topic in marriages today. It’s been a hot topic since the beginning of time. Sex is the one act of love that God gave to a husband and wife that they are supposed to do with each other and no one else. King Solomon was no stranger to sex. In fact, he had more wives than there are days in the year (ref 1 Kings 11:3). King Solomon was also no stranger to temptation and lust. That’s why he wrote so many proverbs on the pitfalls of immorality.

Do you ever catch your eyes wondering where they shouldn’t? I do. Did you know that allowing your eyes to continue wondering and looking freely will eventually ruin your sex life? Your eyes are one of the keys to your delights and passions.

The two verses above follow King Solomon’s strong warnings to stay away from the temptation to go after another woman. These two verses are a reminder to husbands that all our delight and passion needs to be for our wife.

The following list can be used for assessing how you are doing in delighting in your wife, or it can be simple a reminder of safeguards for intimacy in your marriage.

Five Areas to Consider (for delighting in my wife).

1. My Eyes
   1. Have you ever heard the saying, “you can look at the menu, you just can’t order off of it.” The problem with this statement is, it is utterly false! Eyeing a woman that is not my wife leads to committing adultery in my heart (Matthew 5:28). Your eyes should be only for your wife. Are you protecting your eyes?
2. My Ears
   1. What I allow myself to listen to also sticks in my mind. Are you protecting your ears?
3. My Mind
   1. What I allow to stay in my mind is going to eventually sink into my heart. The question that needs to be asked is, “Am I allowing wrong thoughts about someone else stay in my mind?”
4. My Heart
   1. Once these thoughts reach my heart, they start becoming desires. These desires lead to actions. Are there wrong desires in my heart?
5. My Actions
   1. Actions can bring joy or pain. As you can see, actions are not the root of a problem but a symptom of a greater problem. Both my public and private actions reveal the delight I am taking in my wife. Are there any actions in my life that would disgust my wife?

Husbands, delight in your wife by starting with the right actions while you are with her and away from her. Rights actions, lead to right thoughts, which leads to a right heart for my wife.

My Encouragement for Husbands this week: Start choosing Right Actions both in your public life and your private life.

When it comes to marriage, there are two sides to consider. Next week, we will discuss her side.

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Jesus Talk

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“and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5

Yesterday, I encouraged my church family to keep their bucket under the flow of God’s love. God poured out His love through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. That love continues to be poured out in an inexhaustible supply on those that will receive it.

Your heart is the bucket and Holy Spirit is pouring out God’s love. Is your bucket under the flow today?

5 Practices to Help Your Bucket Stay Under the Flow:

1. Read, Think on, and Apply God’s Word (the Bible) to Your Life
2. Pray – talk to Him today; admit your need for Him today; also, confess anything keeping you from Him. (1 John 1:9)
3. Talk to others about Jesus – Christians and non-Christians; everyone needs Him.
4. Sing to Him – Singing helps to get in the mood of pouring our heart out to Him.
5. Make Right Choices – the details matter.

My Encouragement for Us Today: As we practice these 5 things, go tell someone else how to place their bucket under the flow of God’s love.

Have a Great Week!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Agape love is a choice. This is the love that God showed to humankind by sending Jesus to pay the penalty for us. Jesus gave His life for us. This kind of love commits to the hardest of decisions.

Phileo love is a feeling. It is a warm affection one has toward another. The actions that one takes toward another based on these feelings is also a choice. When we have warm feelings toward another, it is easy to treat them right. When we don’t have these warm feelings, it is so easy to treat them poorly.

Your family needs your agape love and your phileo love. When you choose to consistently agape your spouse, and your kids, your phileo will grow for them over time.

How are you loving your family?

My encouragement for us this week: Love your family through your actions and your words.

Have a Great Week!

Ps. I would encourage you to pray the prayer below as a commitment of love.

Dear Jesus, please help me to love my spouse and my kids through my actions and my words. Also, please help me to love You! I know that I will not be able to fully love my family unless I am loving You with my full heart. I will follow You and love You today. Thank You for Your help. Amen.  

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Jesus Talk

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“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

Have you ever been on a steam engine locomotive? I have! It was fun standing in the room with the main controls and walking the narrow catwalk down the side of it, hoping to not fall to my death. As you may have guessed, the locomotive wasn’t going anywhere. In fact, this locomotive is a fixture at Stewart Park in Roseburg, OR.

In order for a working locomotive to have enough steam to run, there needed to be enough fuel (coal, wood, etc.) burning to produce the steam. The guy in charge of the fire had to make sure there was enough fuel on the fire. Just as an old time locomotive needed steam to keep going, we need ‘steam’ to keep going in the work of the Lord. The analogy is simple. We need to continue to put enough fuel on the fire to either start, or keep going in the work of the Lord.

Stoke your fire today by spending time with Jesus! The Christian’s responsibility is to get the fire as hot as possible. When the fire is hot, the steam builds, and propels the Christian in the work of the Lord.

Don’t let your boiler run out of steam, keep stoking the fire!

My encouragement for us this week: Throw some more wood on the fire and go tell people about Jesus!

Have a Great Week!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“And know this day that I am not speaking with your sons who have not known and who have not seen the discipline of the LORD your God—His greatness, His mighty hand, and His outstretched arm…You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul…” Deuteronomy 11:2 & 18a

I have spent time with hundreds of youth in the last few years. It has been fun, exciting, and challenging! There has been lots of laughter, plenty of serious moments, and a few tears. When you surround yourself with youth, you never know what you are going to hear.

Several years ago, I was having a conversation with a high school guy about movies. He was telling me about a movie he wanted to see and wanted to know if I had seen it. I told him that I hadn’t seen it, nor had I checked the two places online about the content in the movie. I told him that I don’t watch movies that have sex or nudity in them…to which he replied, “I’ll check it out (watch it), Randy, and let you know if you can watch it.”

He was totally serious. He obviously heard me that I don’t watch movies with that content in it. He didn’t understand that one of the reasons that I don’t watch those movies is because I want to be an example for my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ.

When did it become okay to watch or do things that are displeasing to God?

I share the passage of scripture above because I love the fact that God plainly told the parents that He was speaking to them. The parents were being held accountable to knowing God, obeying Him, and teaching their children about Him. A parent that does things that are displeasing to God teaches their children that it’s okay to displease God.

My encouragement for us this week: Take the self-assessment below and recommit yourself and family to the Lord.

Media & Movies Self-Assessment

• Do I consider the content in a movie, TV show, YouTube, etc., before I watch it?
  • If no, why not?
• Do I realize that what goes into my eyes and ears makes a difference to God?
• What example am I setting for my children in media and movies?
• Would God want me to make any adjustments in this area?

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Jesus Talk

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Happy President’s Day!

Go tell someone about Jesus!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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