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Marriage and Family

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“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Do you ever struggle in your marriage?…

Now that I’m done rolling on the floor laughing, maybe I’ll just sit at my desk crying. The fact is, every marriage goes through struggles. Based on statistics and the community I live in, I would say that not very many people know how to struggle in their marriage. And, for those that are trying to read in-between the lines, Rebecca and I are good. Do we have seasons of struggle? Absolutely!

It is very important to know how to struggle in your marriage. In case you are reading this and are hoping I am going to give you a 1,2,3…point list in ‘how to’, I’m not. All I have right now are some encouraging words and mostly the scripture above to point you to the One Person that can help you the most.

I recently listened to an online broadcast from Focus on the Family with Dr. Greg Smalley entitled “Exploring the Depth of Intimacy in Marriage”.[1] One thing he said on the broadcast that really stuck out in my mind was when he said that the worst question you can ask yourself in marriage is, “How can I have a better marriage?” At first, I didn’t quite understand because I always want to try and have a better marriage! But as he explained that when we ask the question, it often gets our focus on our spouse and how they could be better. That is not good. The better question is, “What can I do to be a better husband or wife?” This is the real heart of the issue.

The passage above never gets old when our relationship needs a boost. Taking a personal inventory of how I can love better is always the right thing to do!

Seasons of struggle in marriage are normal, continuing to suffer is not. Get help from your pastor or professional Christian counselor if you are suffering in your marriage.

My encouragement for us today: Take a personal inventory of how you can love your spouse better; then, act on it!

Your Thoughts? What has helped your marriage when you go through seasons of struggle?

Have a Great Week!

[1] If you would like to listen to the broadcast, click the Marriage Tools link below and look for the Broadcast.

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Jesus Talk

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“Incline Thine ear to me, rescue me quickly; Be Thou to me a rock of strength, a stronghold to save me.” Psalm 31:2

I was recently approached to see if the church could help a family that has a need financially. After getting all the specifics and the request for the immediate need; I let them know that we would help as much as we could. Then, I set that aside and told them who could meet their REAL NEED. Don’t get me wrong, I validated this financial need. But, I didn’t skirt around the fact that the financial need is temporary and but their spiritual need is eternal.

What need are you pursuing today? The verse above is a great reminder that God is able to save and has the strength to rescue us in our time of need.

Let’s not forget that the things “which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Cor 4:18).

We all have various needs that need to be met throughout the day. There is only One who can meet the REAL NEED which lasts for eternity along with every other need we have; His name is Jesus!

My encouragement for us this week: Find two people to tell this week about the One who can give us strength for this life and keep us safe for the next!

Prayer for Strength:

Lord, thank you for being my Rock! Please give me strength to live for You today. You are my place of safety; please help me stay in You. Please help me be a light for You by telling others about the Hope that is found in You. Thank You, Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins. I love you!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.” Proverbs 18:10

To put it plainly, I don’t have the strength that it takes to keep my family strong. And, neither do you. But, that is no excuse for me or you to give up. We know someone who does, the LORD. Since He has the strength and He invites us to run to Him; let’s run to Him on behalf of our family.

“Lord, Your name is Jehovah Ra’ah, the LORD is my Shepherd. Please shepherd Rebecca, Ryan, and Riley today. Please stand in the doorway of the sheep pen so that when the enemy tries to get my family, he has to go through You. Thank you for being my families’ shepherd.”

“Lord, Your name is Jehovah Jireh, the LORD is my Provider. Please provide everything that Rebecca, Ryan, and Riley need today. You know exactly where they are at and what they need…please provide for them. Thank you for being my families’ provider.”

“Lord, Your name is Jehovah Nissi, the LORD is my Banner. Please go before Rebecca, Ryan, and Riley today. Everyone chooses a banner to live under; please help my family to live under Your banner. This world can be tough to live in at times, thank you that you are the banner that goes before us into victory. Thank you that we can run to You knowing that You already have the victory.”

Jehovah Rophi, the LORD is my Healer.

Jehovah Shaamah, the LORD is There.

Jehovah Elroi, the LORD Sees.

Jehovah Makeddesh, the LORD is my Sanctifier.

Jehovah T’sidkenu, the LORD is my Righteousness.

What does your family need today and this week? Run to the Strong Tower!

                                        Running to the Strong Tower gives your family the strength of the LORD!

My encouragement for us this week: Help your family run to the Strong Tower by praying the names of the LORD over them every day.

Have a Great Week!

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Jesus Talk

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“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

I want to say…. “Help!”

I feel like I need to say… “I trust You”

I want to say… “I’m going to run”

I feel like I need to say… “I’m going to persevere”

I want to say… “I’m done”

I feel like I need to say… “Lord, I know You will give me what I need”

Ever been there?

It can be very intimidating talking to someone about Jesus. There are times of wanting to run. There are times of wanting to just be done with it and never go back. And then there are times of great rejoicing when someone says, “Yes!”

The Bible encourages us to not give up. If we give up, then what? If we give up, no more will hear. If we give up, no more will believe. If we give up, no more will be saved.

My encouragement for us this week: Don’t give up in talking to people about Jesus! Keep going!

Try praying this prayer:

Dear Jesus, please help me talk to people about You today and for the rest of this week. I love you and I want others to love you too. Sometimes I want to give up. But I know that you will work through me as long as I keep going. Please give me what I need to persevere. Thank you for your help. Amen.

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the Lord is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.” Psalm 18:30

My heart sank this last week as I saw on social media, yet another marriage that has ended in divorce. As I hear about marriages like this one, where all outside appearances look like a happy and healthy marriage; I start reflecting on my own marriage and wonder how people get there. But you know, it doesn’t take long to come up with a list of things.

‘How to’ end up in divorce:

1. Stop doing the things that got your spouse to love you in the first place
2. Start doing things that get others to like you
3. Stop looking at your spouse and fantasizing about him/her
4. Start looking at other people along with fantasizing about them
5. Stop complimenting your spouse
6. Start complimenting another
7. Stop putting your spouse first
8. Start putting another first
9. Stop taking refuge in God
10. Start taking refuge in another

Wow! I don’t even like reading this list. Let’s make a better list.

How to Have a Happy and Healthy Marriage:

1. Keep doing the things that got your spouse to love you in the first place.
2. Keep your eyes and heart only for your spouse
3. Keep complimenting your spouse only
4. Keep putting your spouse first
5. Keep taking refuge in God!

My encouragement for us this week: Follow the List of 5 Things for a Happy and Healthy Marriage.

What would you add to the list of “How to Have a Happy and Healthy Marriage”?

Have a Great Week!

**If you need help in your marriage, don’t wait. Seek help from the resources below or contact me and I will help you find an avenue for help.

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Jesus Talk

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“The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; There is no one who does good.” Psalm 14:1

Saturday I received a phone call… “This is Randy”, I answered. “Randy, this is John. You met me down at the park that one day…could we talk?”

This is may have been the most exciting phone call that I have received in the last year. I had met this young man and his friend as I was doing The Gospel Guy at Esther Short Park in Vancouver a couple months ago. After some conversation, I gave them both my phone number and told them that if they ever needed help or just someone to care, they could give me a call. I never figured they would simply because most people don’t.

Longer story short, we had lunch, he gave his life back to Jesus!

There is something very important to remember when talking to people about Jesus. Those who say that there is no God, the Bible refers to these people as fools. God is not making fun of these people. He is simply stating the truth about who they are. Romans 1 says, every person intrinsically knows that there is a God. Therefore, when a person says there is no God, that person is denying not only his/her Creator, but they are denying what has been plainly revealed to them. Thus, they are fools.

Even the business woman who seems to have life all figured out? Even the young college grad who knows all? Even the world-renowned scientist that says that all of life has evolved from millions and billions of years past? Yep. Anyone and everyone who denies God, God refers to that person as a fool.

When talking to people about Jesus, it’s good and right to hold a proverbial mirror in front of them to show them what they look like when they say, “there is no God.” Of course, we should always do this with the utmost concern in our heart for that person along with gentleness and respect. After all, Jesus died on the cross for them.

How have you helped people see who they are when they deny God?

My encouragement for us this week: Help people see who they really are when they deny God.

Have a Great Week!

**I changed the name of the young man to John Doe to protect his identity.

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.” Ephesians 6:13

Take up…..my responsibility

Full armor of God…not some, but all the armor. God’s armor protects me from spiritual attacks

Evil Day…any day that we experience serious temptation

Having done everything…wow! Sometimes there is much I can do, sometimes there is little, but there is always something I can do!

Stand firm…unmovable. Solid. Strong. I will only be, when I have God as my armor.

As I start this blog, I am getting ready to go to bed for the night in a hotel room at a retreat in Newport, Or. Once was a day that I would not have been able to stay in a hotel room without turning on the TV and watching something that I should not have watched. I’m often reminded about the man that I once was. I am no longer that man! Jesus has made me new!

The first thing I did when I got into the hotel room was to pray for the TV. I kneeled beside the bed and told God that I would not turn on the TV while I was there. Could I have watched a show? You bet! Could I have been innocent in that? Of course! I’ve learned over the last eleven years that I grow not from doing everything I want and can do, but from choosing what is best for my relationships.

I am reminded that I cannot be too careful when it comes to safe guarding my relationships. My relationship with God, my relationship with my wife, and my relationship with my boys. As I make a choice to put on the full armor of God, I not only protect my relationship with Jesus but I also protect my family. Putting on the full armor of God is a safe guard for your marriage and your family! 

My encouragement for us this week: Put the full armor of God on every day for the sake of your marriage and family!

3 Simple (not easy!) Steps to Putting on the Full Armor of God

1. Read and apply God’s Word, everyday
2. Pray honestly and intimately, everyday
3. Choose to do what’s right, everyday

Have a Great Week!

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Jesus Talk

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“Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at my doorposts.”      Proverbs 8:34

Laptops, Tablets, Smartphones…Email, Texting, Tweets…Facebook, Twitter, Blogs…

So many avenues, so many opportunities, so many thoughts to share…

I personally have been trying to grow in my ability to use different platforms for communicating. Right now, I am using Facebook by posting my blogs, I send out a daily scripture using a text app (text @evcds to 81010), along with giving a thought for the day on Twitter.

Technology is an incredible thing! Technology is a fun thing! Technology is a powerful thing! Technology can be used for good, it can be used for evil, it can be used for me, or it can be used for God.

The scripture above says that those who daily watch, wait, and listen to wisdom will be blessed. Since wisdom comes from God; since everyone needs more of His wisdom; since so many people have access to technology (like you and me); and, since technology is a great way to communicate; it seems that we should be using technology to help people watch, wait, and listen to wisdom. Not my wisdom, not your wisdom, but God’s wisdom.

Evil is decreased and knowledge of God is increased as people listen to wisdom.

The more people listen to wisdom, the more people will follow Jesus! The apostle Paul said that “all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” are in Jesus!  (Colossians 2:3)

My encouragement for us this week: Let’s help people follow Jesus by using technology wisely!

Have a Great Week!

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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Marriage and Family

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“Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.” Proverbs 3:3

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always feel like being kind to my wife. (Sorry Honey!) Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife. I am thankful for her. I know this will be a shock to you, but… I don’t have it all together! In fact, just last evening I said something in a way to my wife that was not kind. I was frustrated and I allowed my feelings to override how I knew I should respond. And yes, I have asked her forgiveness and I have also asked for God’s forgiveness.

Kindness and Truth, as the verse above points out, are incredibly important to have a great relationship with your spouse.

How about you? Do you have it all together? I might be able to guess what the answer is…

You may not have it all together, but if you are willing to work on the two things above in the way you relate with your spouse, you can have a good marriage.

Practicing kindness goes a long way toward building intimacy with your spouse.

Practicing truthfulness goes a long way toward building trust with your spouse.

Intimacy and Trust are found in a marriage that is built on kindness and truth.

My encouragement for us this week: Practice kindness and truthfulness with your spouse this week!

Have a Great Week!

**If you are experiencing struggle in your relationship to the point that you can’t even think about practicing kindness and truthfulness, feel free to contact me and I will help you find an avenue for healing.

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Jesus Talk

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“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;” Proverbs 1:7a

I often feel like I don’t have enough knowledge to talk to people about Jesus. Then, I receive reminders like the one above.

Yes, there are different approaches you can learn to talk to people about Jesus.

Yes, there are different questions you can start with to lead into a conversation about Jesus.

Yes, there are different places to meet people in order to proclaim Jesus.

But, there is no substitute for the fear of the Lord.

Talking to people about Jesus must start with the fear of the Lord. Without it, our hearts will be in the wrong place. We may be able to quote a Bible verse or two. We may be able to articulate a correct description of the gospel. But, if we don’t have a healthy fear of the Lord, then our witness is not going to last.

A lasting witness for Jesus begins with a healthy fear of Him!

My encouragement for us today: Build a healthy fear of Jesus into your Heart!

5 Steps for Building a Healthy Fear of Jesus into Your Heart:

1. Read Your Bible Everyday
2. Write Down One Way to Live Out Your Bible Reading Everyday
3. Pray and Ask God to Help You Live for Him Everyday
4. Try to Live Out That Day What Jesus Told You (Reference #2 & #3)
5. Talk to People (Christian and Non-Christians) about Jesus Everyday

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“So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” Acts 17:17

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